Same games · same grumps · stronger together

The Grumpy Gamers Guild. Gaming, questionable tactics, friendly fire, Dota arguments, Valheim expeditions and whatever Ace is currently warning everyone about.

GOOD GAMESGRUMPY PEOPLEMAVERICKSIRISSINCE FOREVER
GGG NETWORK // LIVEScroll to disturb the guild archive
GGG ARCHIVE FEED // LOOPING
SCROLL TO DEPLOY
ACE REPORTS RCA SITUATION "ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL"RADON RAGE METER: NOMINALDODO BEDTIME WINDOW APPROACHINGTAFFY REQUESTS ONE MORE DOTA GAMETURTLE WIG STATUS: UNCONFIRMEDICEBLADEMUSH DENIES FRIENDLY FIREMAVERICKS // GUILD TERRITORY
Current campaigns

The games.

01 / GGG ARCHIVE

Each campaign gets its own panoramic crew banner. Images assemble as they enter the viewport, like a slightly unreliable tactical briefing.

HELLDIVERS II // DEPLOYED

Helldivers II

Democracy, stratagems and the ancient GGG tradition of explaining why that friendly-fire incident was completely unavoidable.

ACTIVE CAMPAIGN
VALHEIMDROP YOUR CREW ART HERE
VALHEIM // LONGHOUSE CHANNEL

Valheim

Build. Explore. Survive. Complain. A Viking expedition with mead, questionable engineering and enough material for several future guild incidents.

IMAGE SLOT READY
DOTA 2DROP YOUR CREW ART HERE
DOTA 2 // RANKED DISPUTE

Dota 2

The competitive wing of the guild. Taffy territory, creep waves, timing, arguments and the occasional perfectly reasonable rage quit.

IMAGE SLOT READY
DUNEDROP YOUR CREW ART HERE
DUNE // ARRAKIS CHANNEL

Dune

The GGG heads for Arrakis. Sand, spice, survival, machinery and several people who will absolutely claim the plan was obvious afterward.

IMAGE SLOT READY
GGG // ARCADE NODE

GRAND GALA
SHOOTING RANGE

The guild's own 90-second shooting gallery. Steam valves, Dota chaos, orbital strikes, wigs, rage quits and enough private jokes to require an incident report.

05 // PLAYABLE

Playable directly inside the site. Aim at the bullseyes, click or press Space to fire, R to reload and M for sound. Score unlocks keep the rooms escalating until the finale goes completely off the rails.

LIVE BUILD // V6
GGG GAME SERVER // LOCAL
GGG // MUSIC ARCHIVE

THE GUILD
SOUNDTRACK

Officially unofficial GGG music. Turn it up until somebody complains.

06 // MUSIC
Now available // GGG audio node

GGG TO THE
TRUE NORTH

A Grumpy Gamers Guild track, embedded directly into the site so the archive can now make noise as well as complain.

Track // True NorthStatus // Standing by
GGG // ANALYTICS DIVISION

ABSOLUTELY
SCIENTIFIC.

07 / QUESTIONABLE DATA

Guild behaviour, translated into the sort of charts nobody asked for. All telemetry below is fictional, illustrative and calibrated using advanced grumpology.

GGG SOLAR SYSTEM // ORBITAL PERSONNEL MODELGRAVITY: UNVERIFIED
GGG
ACE
Ace // RCA alarm planet
ICE
Iceblademush // friendly-fire moon
DODO
Dodo // inverter belt
TAFFY
Taffy // Dota gas giant
TURTLE
Turtle // stable orbit, unstable wig
RADON
Radon // high-volatility rage world
SSJ
SSJ // occasional comet
RYHDER
Ryhder // outer-system object
MODEL 001 // GRUMP-CENTRIC COSMOLOGY

Every member is now a planet.

The GGG sits at the centre of an unstable miniature solar system. Orbital distance represents absolutely nothing. Rotation speed is determined by a proprietary mixture of temperament, game-night attendance and dramatic potential.

ACE
RCA warning world
RADON
Volcanic rage planet
DODO
Solar/inverter belt
TAFFY
Dota atmosphere
TURTLE
Wig-bearing satellite
ICE
Orbital-strike hazard
CHART A

Inverter & solar-panel mentions

DODO TELEMETRY
18
MON
44
TUE
71
WED
53
THU
68
FRI
29
SAT
12
SUN
LOW VOLTAGE CHATINVERTER EVENT HORIZON
CHART B

Dota happiness index

TAFFY MODEL
QUEUE POP65 MINUTES LATER
CHART C

Radon rage-quit probability

ALT → F4 → NOPE
CALM SESSIONONE TEAMMATE MISSES A PING
CHART D

Guild conversational bandwidth

TOPICS / NIGHT
92%
GAMES
78%
COMPLAINTS
64%
DOTA
58%
SOLAR
43%
RCA
100%
NONSENSE
MEASURED IN GRUMPSMAXIMUM BANDWIDTH
87%Chance somebody says “one more game”
4.7×Rage multiplier after midnight
∞Estimated unresolved guild arguments
* All figures are fictional GGG telemetry for comic purposes. No actual science survived the analysis.
Guild roster

The grumps.

02 / PERSONNEL

Move over the cards. They react because even the personnel records refuse to sit still.

ACE

Alan

Ace. Current RCA grievance department, steam-machine advocate and guild conspiracy correspondent.

01
ICEBLADEMUSH

Richard

Iceblademush. Core GGG member and veteran of whatever campaign the guild has wandered into this week.

02
DODO

Renaldo

Dodo. Associated in guild lore with dubious labs, printers, inverters and the legendary 9 PM bedtime.

03
TAFFY

Taffy

Core member and the name most strongly attached to the guild's Dota mythology.

04
TURTLE

Steven

Turtle. Core member. Archive status of the flying wig remains unresolved.

05
RADON

Francis

Radon. Core member. Rage meter nominal. ALT, F4 and NOPE remain available.

06
SSJ · OCCASIONAL

Ryker

SSJ joins the guild campaigns occasionally and appears in the wider GGG crew.

07
RYHDER

Ryhder

Ryhder in game, Ryhder here. Part of the wider GGG orbit.

08
Core GGG: Ace, Iceblademush, Dodo, Taffy, Turtle and Radon. SSJ is occasional; Ryhder is part of the wider crew.
Real-world lore

Home territory.

03 / FIELD LOCATIONS
Where the grumps go

Mavericks

Mavericks is the GGG gathering place. On the site it becomes the guild's physical clubhouse rather than a member of the roster.

Ace's company

IRIS

IRIS is Ace / Alan's company. It gets its own place in the guild archive instead of being treated as a character or game-night joke.